one.week

12 hours from now it’ll be one week.
One week since the worst day of my life.
One week since I literally lost a piece of me.
One week since my old world stopped and the messed up version of my world started. One week since my heart died.
One week since I began thinking God doesn’t care.
One week since I’ve started hating everything I don’t have.
One week of pure torture within my soul.
One week that has included comments from random people that rip me apart.
One week that is revisited minute by minute by visions of horror over and again, reliving it over and again.
One week since I felt the warmth of her precious belly.
One week since I could put her little hand in mine.
One week since I could smell her, kiss her, hold her.
One week since I gave up on miracles.
One week since prayer might not matter.
One week since I could apologize to her.
One week of searching for her.
One week of desperately wanting to go back in time.
One week of hell. One week of wanting to disappear.
One week of anger.
One week of sadness.
One week of loving my husband more than I knew I could.
One week of anguish.
One week.

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