Is it weird

This is always where i am

In the middle of what is and Is not

It is made up and it is real

I cannot understand what it is that I feel

It seems so unfathomable

But it seems so true

I just can’t get to the truth of you

I see YOU liking more than what I’ve been

I see YOU liking more than what I’ve given

I feel so lost while you hold me close

I see your eyes go elsewhere most

Likely for me to see your gaze in my view

Likely for me to misconstrue

It hurts my heart that I cannot trust

It kills my spirit that pain is my host

I can’t get out

I can’t see beyond

It’s not, is it really me with you I belong?

I’m fucked in the head

Do you just want me for bed

I don’t know if you really care

It’s been over a year and I still feel spare

Sparse I am for your future projection

I’m constantly questioning your affection