sometimes you think you are of the “special” sort. you know, someone worth such and such and of course worth more than this or that… you have this firm system that works inside your brain saying that you could just be that important or desirable and you believe it. of course, until you are shown the opposite.

i, am the opposite now. i have had a moment just realizing that I, am indeed, not that important. my ego took a bow and stepped aside with a good affirmation of humility.

the odd thing was though, that i didnt recieve any news today, so im not sure why i was thinking about it. however it has been in recent time that this revelation came to fore front. it was given to me, i was not the only one.

ever heard that? you are not the only one….? out of context that could presumably mean a multitude of things. but in this instance, it was gut checking to both the parties having the conversation. probably for different reasons, but none the less, nauseating.

i didnt know. i hadnt realized. i was not the only one. that is low and hurtful to her for obvious reasons, but to me it was a mix of superficiality and soul trembling rift. be mindful, the rifts were not long, but noticable.

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